


Let’s pretend

by RobronRainbows



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, Panic Attack, Short, Taking, kinda sad, set after the day Aaron said Robert was a problem him and Liv didn’t need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-09 21:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20516459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobronRainbows/pseuds/RobronRainbows
Summary: Little follow on.





	Let’s pretend

Aaron had decided to have a shower and have an early night. He knew he needed some self care which meant getting some sleep. Liv was all tucked up in bed and Robert had been clearing away the tea stuff when Aaron went up.  
Robert had made the three of them a lovely meal, trying his best to bring the mood up as much as he could. Aaron appreciated it, knowing Robert was feeling down and he smiled along for Liv’s sake. 

He stepped into the hot slower, brushing his legs under the water and breathing in the hot steam. As his body merged in, he felt a release in his chest, like a door could finally be opened to something he’d been needing for weeks.  
Everything in his mind was a mess, all jumbled up, not being able to find it’s path. Robert. The man he loved more than he even knew how to describe, the man who he wants to spend every day with until his last breath, his husband. Then there was his little sister, a love he never new he could have or feel, someone who he’d die for in a second. Two people who needed him, who felt worried and scared. The water trickled over his head, making his hair go flat and his eyes close. 

. 

Robert pressed the dishwasher on and closed the small door. It beeped twice which meant it was about to start. He felt himself stare at the light on the front, waiting for it to do something, like it had a life of its own. He took a breath and snapped out of it, looking towards the sofa and wondering if he was staying there again. He missed being next to Aaron the night before, missed their bed, the heat, the connection. It physically hurt him to not be close, to not wake up next to him and have Aaron snuggle in like he always did. It hurt. 

He finished tidying up before walking up the stairs In Search for his room. He heard the door to the bathroom go and Aaron walk out with a towel around his waist and messy towel dried hair. 

They both looked at each other like they’d been caught doing something wrong. 

Robert coughed. “Am I..?” He pointed towards the bed. “Is it alright…”

Aaron bowed his head slightly. “Yeah.” He felt a stab in his gut. He hated how soft Robert was, how vulnerable he looked. “Course you can.” 

“Thanks.”

Aaron winced. “You don’t have to thank me Robert, it’s your bed too.”

He just nodded. Taking his shirt off and putting a comfy bed t-shirt on. 

“Robert, I’m…” Aaron walked round the bed. “Come here.” 

Robert felt a little nervous as Aaron pulled him, hugging him tightly. He could feel his chest tighten, the muscles tensing as he thought about not having this feeling again for year and years.” 

Aaron could sense it. “What’s wrong?” 

He pulled away slowly. “What’s going to happen if I get sent down for years?” His voice quiet. “What’s going to happen to us?”

Aaron’s eyes shut at the thought. “You won’t.”

“I might.”

Their foreheads touched. 

“Then I’ll be here waiting for you, seeing you as much as I can.”

“Aaron.” It was said in a pained tone. 

“What?”

“I could get 30 years.” 

There was a deep silence. 

“I’m sorry.” Robert said into the heartbreaking atmosphere. “I’m so sorry.” 

Aaron felt a tear run down his cheek. He didn’t even realise he was crying. “I don’t care if you get 40 years. I will be here.”

“Don’t be daft Aaron.” 

Their lips almost touching and their arms clinging to each other. 

“I’m not. I won’t leave you.” 

“I wouldn’t ask you to waste your life on me like that.”

“Don’t say that!” Aaron’s tone was harsh. “Never say that.”

“All I want is for you to be happy, that’s All I’ll ever want for you, to have a happy life, with that being with me or not.” 

“I won’t be happy if I’m not with you. You know that.” 

“But if it comes to it Aaron. I want you to live your life to the full. Don’t let me drag you down.”

Aaron stepped away. “Are you hearing yourself Robert. You want me to just forget and move on to some other bloke. I could never do that.”

“You did with Alex.” 

The air between them confusing. 

“And look how that turned out. He wasn’t you.”

“But you were happy. If I’d left the village and not come back, you’d be with him still.”

“No I wouldn’t, because I wasn’t really happy with him. He wasn’t for me.”

“But you will find someone who will be.”

Aaron felt angry. “Shut up!” 

Robert felt sad. “I’m just trying to be realistic.” 

“No, your giving up on us.” 

“You really think I’d expect you to stay with me if they give me a life sentence. That would be ridiculous Aaron.”

“You’d stay with me!” 

Robert hadn’t looked at it like that before. It felt weird, wrong to think about Aaron going away again. It was true though, he’d never leave him, never move on, he couldn’t.” 

“That’s different.” 

“How the hell is it!?”

“I….” Robert felt lost. He didn’t know. 

“It’s not difficult Robert, just allow me to be your husband forever.” 

“You think it’s easy to ask you to be with me still even though I won’t be able to be your husband properly. I won’t be able to kiss you, touch you, hold you at night, make love to you.” He felt his eyes water. “To make you breakfast, listen to your god awful music, see you laugh.” He wiped his eyes and Aaron stepped closer, holding his face with his hands. 

“I want to be your husband forever. I will wait, however long it takes.”

Robert’s stared into his husbands eyes. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You don’t have to ask me Robert, it’s not an option for me.” He pulled him in for a kiss. It was soft and lingering before Robert broke away. 

“I can’t do this.” He felt his hands shaking and his chest tighten. “It’s too much.” That’s when his head went dizzy and the room seemed smaller. 

“Rob..” 

Aaron half caught him before he hit his head on the wardrobe. “Rob?” He knew what was happening, it’d happened to him many times. “It’s okay Robert, just breath for me.. slowly.” 

His hand on Robert chest and his heart slowly breaking as he did his best to calm him down from his panic attack. “Look at me… Hey.” 

“I can’t breathe.” 

“I know.. it’s alright.” He was calm, he had to be. “I’ve got you.” 

. . 

“Here.” Aaron placed the water next to where Robert was sitting on the floor. 

“Thanks.” 

“And some chocolate.” 

Robert frowned. “Chocolate?”

“It helps me..”

He took the bar and opened it. “Thanks.” 

They sat there for a while, neither saying a word, just sat on the soft carpet in the early hours of the morning. 

“You know I just want you to be okay.” Roberts childlike tone making Aaron feel emotional. 

“I know. But Robert, I need you to understand that I’m not giving up on our marriage. It means everything to me, you mean everything to me and I don’t care if you get 30 years, I’m going to be here.”

“But don’t you see how pointless that would be. I’d be in there and you’d be out here wasting your life. You only get one Aaron, you need to have fun, go places, meet people, live.”

“And what, Leave you alone to rot.”

Robert took a deep breath in. “I don’t know.” He was exhausted. He didn’t have the answers. “Honestly Aaron, I don’t even know how I’ll cope without you.” 

Aaron’s hand found Roberts. “Don’t say that.”

He knew what Aaron meant. He knew if they started talking about how they wouldn’t cope if Robert got sent away, they’d get into the same augmented again and again followed by tears.

“Can we just.. can we just go to sleep and not think about it anymore tonight.”

“It’s not going to go away.” 

“I know.” He got up, pulling Aaron up with him. “But right now, all I wanna do is get in that bed with you and get some sleep. It’ll be tomorrow’s problem.” 

Both men knew they were just sweeping it under the carpet but they didn’t care. 

They got into bed, turning the bedside lamps off and snuggled down. There was a sense of calm about them, like they’d allowed themselves to forget what the future unfortunately held for them.


End file.
